Harry Potter and the Lost Pants
by Noodle Sisters
Summary: Ron steals Harry's clothes and now Harry's ANGRY. And Hermione's water bottle suffers the consequences.
1. The Lost Pants

Harry Edward Potter* could not find his pants. Nor could he any of his other clothes. He'd been looking all morning and had already missed breakfast. If he looked any longer, he'd miss his first class of the day. To top it all off, his first class just happened to be potions. Poor guy. Good thing we're not him.*  
  
Not able to think of anything better, he grabbed his bathrobe and went down to the common room. Where everybody stared. And then he realized that it was the bathrobe that Ginny had given him for Christmas. The pink one with red hearts all over it. (A/N-Not very smart is he?) And everyone burst out laughing.  
  
Hermione rushed over with her hands over her mouth to cover up her giggles. He glared at her. But seeing he was in pink, he didn't seem quite as formidable as he normally would have.  
  
"Harry!" she managed to wheeze out between bursts of laughter ,"What are you wearing?"  
  
"Hermione! I can't find my underwear! Or my pants!" (A/N-Too bad, weirdo.)  
  
"Well, I'm sure you can go without them for one day! Besides, you school robe will cover that entirely!"  
  
"But ALL my clothes are gone!"  
  
She stared at him.  
  
"Well, somebody probably took them away."  
  
"Obviously! But what am I supposed to do?"  
  
"Well, I'd let you borrow one of mine.but you probably wouldn't fit.so do you know who took your clothes?"  
  
"No! Or I'd have them back my now!"  
  
"Well, why don't you as Ron for some clothes.or you can probably get yourself sick. I know some spells for common colds and such."  
  
"I don't wanna get sick!" Harry shouted in a childish whining voice, "So I'll ask Ron, I guess."  
  
He promptly gathered what was left of his dignity and left to find Ron.  
  
Harry frowned. He hadn't been able to find Ron, so had instead found Ron's trunk of clothes. He knew Ron would probably let him borrow clothes if he were here, but he just had a bad feeling about it.  
  
He sighed and shrugged it off. I was probably nothing anyway.  
  
He leaned down and proceeded to fiddle with the lock on the trunk. What had Ron's combination been again? He paused for a moment, thinking. Ah, yes.that's what it was.  
  
The lock clicked open and Harry pried the lid open.  
  
He gasped.  
  
Lo and behold.before him lay all of his clothes, clumsily stuffed into the trunk.  
  
He was so going to kill Ron.(A/N-Poor Ron.Oh well. He's getting what he deserves anyway.)  
  
Authors' Notes: *His middle name is Edward 'cause we say so. *If nobody knows, more than one person writes this thing. Noodle Sister 1:I can so imagine him strangling Ron. Noodle Sister 2: I LIKE NOODLES. NS1:Yes, you do. NS2: noodle good- yummy NS1:Yes,NS2,yes.Ignore my partner, people.Now.on the count of three we all spaz, okay? One.Two.Three. NS1/2/3: 


	2. Blackmail

Chapter 2----Blackmail  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own this stuff. Okay? Understand? Good.  
  
Notes: Second chapter. Finally. I got offa my lazy ass and typed the second chapter, written by Noodle Sisters 1, 2, and 4. Edited by Noodle Sister 1, the most active and nice and wonderful of all the Noodle Sisters. Really. Actually, I'm only doing this because my internet just did something weird, so I can't do anything BUT type this up.  
  
Harry strode off to potions. He was late. Oh so very, extremely late. Professor Snape gave him detention, of course.  
  
Harry scanned the room, looking for an empty chair. Having his wonderful luck and considering his lateness, only one seat was left. Next to Draco Malfoy.  
  
Now why would Malfoy be sitting alone?  
  
Harry sat down nervously under the intense glare that Malfoy was sending in his general direction. He squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, trying to move his chair further away. That glare was SCARING him. And he was most definitely NOT having a good day. And upon further examination, Ron and Hermione appeared to be on the other side of the cold and dreary room. Now he couldn't possibly talk to them.  
  
As Professor Snape lectured the class on behavior, Harry's mind drifted to Ron and the theft of his clothes.  
  
The truth was, after what Ron had done, he could not bear to sit by Harry. What happened was that Malfoy, feeling in a particularly bad mood, had managed to obtain naked baby pictures of Ron and had blackmailed him. Unless Ron stole Harry's clothes and admitted to it, Malfoy would have shown the entire student body the pictures. Malfoy, of course, had some laughs over this before finally losing interest.  
  
Notes: Later chapters will reveal why Malfoy was in a particularly bad mood and was sitting alone. And as for why Snape was lecturing on behavior, somebody had thrown some explosive thing at him. Yup. And I needed a transition paragraph because what I wrote and what Noodle Sister 4 wrote abruptly went from one to the other. Maybe we'll write a fanfic about it later. That could prove to be amusing, seeing as it is summer and we're all bored out of our insane minds. 


	3. Another View

Chapter 3: Another View  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter. If we did, this wouldn't be fanfiction and we'd be very rich.  
  
Draco Malfoy PoV  
  
I was angry. Of course I was angry. Who wouldn't be after what happened to me?  
  
I had stood on the side watching for a while. And I had come to a conclusion: I would not join the Deatheaters.  
  
Why not? Simple. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was obviously losing this war. Besides, who in their right mind would actually want to be a slave to him when he could kill you any time he decided that you weren't performing your job correctly? Certainly not me. I would probably have more of a chance of getting killed if I joined him. And unlike some people, I do have dignity and pride. Which are easily hurt if I kneel down and kiss some other man's robes.  
  
When my parents informed me of the date I was to become a Deatheater, I had proceeded to tell them that I refused to, and all the reasons why. I also launched into a speech about how my father was a coward to hide behind somebody else's back, which resulted in me being kicked out of the house.  
  
Taking only my most prized possessions, I flew to my Uncle Jack's house on my broom, where I stayed for the rest of the summer, brooding.  
  
So of course, I was quite angry at my life when I got back to Hogwarts. Feeling particularly nasty, I decided to intercept a few owls. It was, after all, the first week of school, in which mothers send forgotten items to their children.  
  
After waiting around for half an hour, I became impatient and got ready to leave. But just as I was leaving, an owl swooped down, clutching a package in its talons. I smiled.  
  
"Hey, owl! Come down here for a moment! Umm.I have snacks for you!"  
  
The owl sharply turned to its left, changing its course to come in my direction. That must have been the stupidest owl I had ever encountered. I had expected that I would have to stun it to get the package it was holding. Oh, well. All the better for me.  
  
It finally came close enough, and dropped down to the ground next to me. It tumbled over a few times, losing its grip on the package, which I promptly picked up.  
  
Ignoring the now unconscious owl, I tore open the package. Inside was a letter, candy, and another, smaller package.  
  
I quickly scanned the letter to see who the package had been for. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was for Weasley, from his mother. As I read, I popped a piece of candy into my mouth.  
  
Having finished the letter, I opened the smaller package. I had gathered from the letter that it was filled with photographs of a baby Weasley that his mother had recently found in the attic.  
  
I quickly flipped through the pictures. The majority of them were actually quite embarrassing. Almost instantly, I realized that I could blackmail Weasley with these pictures.  
  
Having realized this, I began to wonder what I should force Weasley to do. And then the answer hit me: get him to steal all of Potter's clothes. Maybe life wasn't so bad after all.  
  
Notes: Um.the first 2 chapters were written BEFORE any of us Noodle Sisters read the 5th book. In fact, they were written before the book came out (at the least the 1st chapter was.). So therefore we would like you to all pardon the fact that we have some facts wrong. Such as Harry's middle name. But we like the name Edward and Noodle Sister 1 also has a very lazy ass, so therefore we are NOT going to be fixing that. So this can be considered some alternate thing where Harry's middle name is Edward instead of James. Actually, just pretend that you're reading a new book and you've never ever heard of Harry Potter ever before. And yes, we KNOW that this chapter was horrible. The plot was strange and all sorts of unexplainable plot holes are in it. Just go through and I'm sure if you're nitpicky enough, you'll find something. There were lots of stupid things, but that was because this was supposed to be a long and drawn out version of the last paragraph of chapter 2 and that was written before this. Not to mention written without any thought as to how somebody could obtain Ron's baby pictures. So I ended up thinking up this crazy scheme for a plot and writing it. Why Malfoy seems to have no sense as to how to blackmail somebody, I have no clue. If anybody noticed, it was EXTREMELY uncreative to get somebody to steal clothes, not to mention a complete and total waste of absolutely perfect blackmail material. And I was thinking of removing the last paragraph of chapter 2. Oh, yes. And any reviews would be appreciated. Even if you rant about how stupid this is, because, I assure, we already know. Besides, then at least we know this is worth yelling at and ridiculing. By the way, chapter 4 will be written by OTHER Noodle Sisters. For once, Noodle Sister 1 will have absolutely no part in writing it. Only editing it. Just because she can't resist editing improper grammar and adding colorful words. Plus she writes these notes and puts the stories up, so she has much power over what gets written and what doesn't. That's why everything sounds like it was written by the same person.  
  
And for anybody who bothers to read this: I appreciate it and even though you might not want it, I will now give you a preview of the next chapter. Or at least a somewhat summary: Harry attempts revenge on Ron who attempts revenge on Malfoy.And Hermione loses her water bottle.  
  
P.S.- Sorry that the update took a long time. Noodle Sister 1 was on vacation. She came back 2 days ago really late in the night. 


	4. Revenge

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter, as much as we all wish we did.  
  
Harry POV How should I get revenge on Ron??? How should I kill him??  
  
Has Ron gone insane?? (Yes, he has) MURDER...I swear, I'm gonna figure out a way to do something so bad he never met me!! What should I do?? Malfoy's POV I'm gonna get pictures of Harry in that stupid pink hearts bathrobe of his! From Colin Creevey!! And kill him too!!! Muahahahah!! Ron's view!! Hmmm.how should I do this?? I can steal the water bottle... and do it in charms front of everyone...I hate Malfoy- he's making me do this!! Ahh!! Harry's POV I know- I'll steal Hermione's water bottle and soak his potions homework that he spend all the weekend working on! Grr... I hate Ron!!! How could he do this to me??? Well, tomorrow is the day to cause pain.... Ron's view!! Oh god...Tomorrow is the day Hermione's water bottle goes baibai..... and I'm gonna die... Malfoy: Muamuhahahah!!!I wonder who is gonna die first: Potter from frustration or Weasley from murder(by Harry)...!!!!  
  
Author's notes: For once, NS1(me) had absolutely nothing to do with the writing! Yes! Umm.sorry for the delay! It was written by NS5 and NS6, so you can see that it took a while for them to get the pieces together.and get it to NS2. Our system is waaay too complicated. And NS2 had to email it to me. And I was too busy to do nagging.really. I had school! And we had to do a 20 paragraph essay. That's my excuse for everything I've delayed too long. And I only did the editing and plot! Anyway.it's sort of strange.not exactly what I had told them to do, but hey.I liked the way it came out. It's interesting that they interpreted it as the characters thinking about it all and what they were doing.Not what I had intended, but hey. And Ron's totally out of it. Oh! And as for Hermione's water bottle.let's just pretend it's the only one in the school.  
  
What I had originally intended for this chapter to be: I actually wanted this to be a chapter in which the characters set up their revenges. I was going to have it so we see them setting up their revenges, but not really knowing what they were, but it came out as just the characters anticipating/planning their revenges. I quite like it, actually. 


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